I'm getting lazier and lazier and lazier
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Insomnia
Haiz, i'm having insomnia yesterday night again. I'm having a broken sleeping again. I've tried to sleep at 2am to 3am plus yesterday, but i just could not get to sleep. End up, waking up to watch some youtube den back to sleep again. Finally I could get into sleep around 4am to 5am plus, but end up, woken up by my dog becuz of the thunder rain. So I need to climb down from my bed and set a mattress and sleep with her which is already around 6.30am. And becuz today is sunday which i need to go for service early morning, i was woken up at 7.30am.
I'm super duper uber tired. After the service, reaching home and BOOM unto my bed and Zzzzz... all the way till 7.45pm wake up, eat dinner, watch TV until now. Really super duper uber tired.
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Interviews
Your noe, sometimes I'm feel very tired for searching for jobs, eversince the AP position in MDC, I really losing faith for finding jobs. Everyday, I've send numerous emails, but sometimes, theres none reply. OR I will go for interview in the companies, end up theres no calls return. OR I will go to agency to apply and ask them to help me, but theres none works or I will tend to wait so long for them to help me for the job hunt.
I always keep telling myself, Pray, Seek and Wait.
I do pray everyday that I will get a suitable jobs soon. I do seek everyday as I'm keep looking around for opportunities. I do wait everyday as I will wait for the phone calls and get shortlisted.
But however, I'm slowly losing faith for myself. Izzit something wrong with me? Izzit my interview technique goes something wrong? Izzit the way that I communicate with the interviewer goes wrong? Izzit the way I dress and give them a bad impression? Izzit just me? I dunnoe....
Everytime I receive call to go for interview, I was so super happy. I will tend to see wad appropriate dressing I will give.. I will always tend to rehersal and will trying to noe wad I can say before the interview. I will pray very hard to God to give me wisdom to noe how to handle and guide me along.
You know, I always pray to God " God, if this job is the job that you wanted to give me, please guide me" But however, none is good for me. I always think, maybe God really have something good for me, so I have to seek and wait. But none.....
At first, when people keep asking me, "Hey, hows your job hunt?" I will reply, "yes, going for and interview next week" Den after a week, people will ask me again "Hey, hows your interview?" I will reply " Like this lor (shaking head)" Now... almost every week at least 2 to 3 people will ask me this two question " Hey, hows your job hunt" or "Hey, hows your interview going on?" And I just feel so tired to answer them this two questions. Is not their fault as they are just caring for me.. Maybe is myself... I feel so tired.... My mind will be thinking " Can U all stop asking me this two questions? Can U all juz wait until I announce it out if I really get shortlisted for the job?"
Ok, this is bad.. Maybe I really too tired... Sorry but this post is not pin pointing anyone. I now you all care for me.. Is just myself.. I think there is something wrong with me.. I started to relax more... I started to slack at home without doing anything and everyday stare at the computer screen. I started to lose hope, I started to lose faith.
BUT I CAN'T !!
I really need God to give me the mind of determination to do it. I cannot keep relying on my parent, I cannot jus keep myself at home without doing anything. But I really need God to guide me. Becuz I noe myself well that, I noe that I'm losing faith in myself soon. Thats why I keep saying "I'm getting lazier and lazier and lazier....."
Haiz...
Celeste is having pms at 9:09 PM
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